breastfeeding grown man

i read "breastfeeding made easy." twice. she just looks at me and puckers, reaching for my breast. i was having dinner with my husband and oureight month old baby girl. it was nice to have that family time. mommy, daddy, little baby. my water broke a month early. nothing could have prepared me for the 17 hour long labor. everywhere i go, the coffee shop the supermarket, the library, the subway, i've got to breastfeed. or else the screams.

those screams are terrifying. i just can't tell them that i supplement my breast milk with formula. all the sudden i notice, my baby, she's hungry. so i do what i need to do. boom. i nurse. especially the man. just staring at me. like they want some. it's a deep, dark secret i keep. i've seen a lactation specialist. i even bought those really expensive oatmeal cookies that help bring your milk in. nothing worked! the hostess comes up to me and she asks me to cover myself up. that i'm offending people!

they just want the nipple. it's all about the nipple. and the worst part... is the pumping! dozens of eyes, all over me. trying not to look, but oh, they're getting a peek. and some of their heads are shaking, "no, no, no." i had to supplement! i just can't tell them. so i cover myself up. my breasts were engorged. they were swollen. they hurt. just a little peek of the nipple and they feel like they're a part of it. i feel like such a loser!

it's too depressing to think that i couldn't feed my baby girl when she was hungry. i tried to pump. but i just didn't know what i was doing. i feel like the little girl i was who peed her pants in the second grade. and i feel guilty for lying. it's like i'm lying to my baby, too. ti had a hard time finishing my dinner that night. because i knew what a long road i had ahead of me. i just stared at pictures of my baby on my phone. the milk came in. you know what? turn this thing off! i'm done. if your vagina has given birth, watch momcave. or your abdomen. or you know someone

who has given birth . or you were birthed. at any time. watch momcave. what? who is this guy? i don't know. if you like momcave, please subscribe. i do. and... cut.